New Friends!

I originally opened this new post to start a post that I will be publishing sometime in the future... but then I remembered that I wanted to write about my new friend that I made today!
First, I have a few confessions:
I am SO lonely.  I absolutely adore my husband and my son, but I feel extremely isolated.  I couldn't figure out why.  I still don't really know, but I'm getting an idea...
Maybe I like feeling lonely?  I don't know, but I have fed into that feeling, and just end up whining about it like all the time. 

So, last Sunday, at our 1 pm meeting (I am super excited for January, because anything is better than 1 pm... except for 1:30 pm... but our building doesn't have a ward at 1:30)  Anyway, I digress...
Bennett was getting very tired, like babies do after being awake for more than 2 hours.  So, like a good member, I stuck out sacrament meeting until I got the sacrament, but then I left to walk the halls with my little cutie.  (Side note: Steven always offers, but since we teach primary and I can't leave the class with him, he gets to take the baby during the lesson, therefore, I get him before...)  My plan was to get my kid to sleep.  I could see it in his adorable little face that he was so tired.  Possibly overtired (which is not cool).  He had other ideas though, and any time I tried to sit and rock him, he just squirmed and grunted.  So, walk I did.  I happened upon a cute little guy in one of the foyers.  He looked bigger than Bennett, and I knew immediately that he was older because he was army crawling towards me.  I did the natural thing to do when a baby is looking at you: I talked to him.  His mom appeared (really not that long after he did, he was being watched, I promise).  And we started to chat.  She told me that my baby was cute (mommy-pride moment... I know my kid is cute, and I just love it when other people tell me he is.  It boosts my confidence that I make cute babies, haha).  It didn't take long to figure out that we lived in the same apartment complex, and that she has lived in the ward less time than we have.
Long story short: Bennett didn't get to sleep, but I found out where my new friend lived.  (Baby slept later, during sharing time...)
Fast forward to Wednesday night.  Relief Society Activity.  yay.  I used to love going to those things.  I've gone to every one that they've had since we moved in, but I just don't feel like I fit in.
Now, here, I have to stop and tell you about a conversation I had with Steven a few days ago.  We were discussing possible reasons why church was so different here.  And this was the conclusion we came to:  When we moved into the married student ward, we were welcomed warmly.  We had instant friends (besides the ones we already knew).  It was like we were adopted into this huge, fun family that loved us without knowing us and they got us.  I have to stress that our welcome to Lehi was not cold by any means.  Our first Sunday, we arrived pretty early and every member of the bishopric introduced themselves to us and chatted with us for several minutes.  At that point, I was feeling pretty good about the new ward.  But it kind of stopped there.  A few more people have made an effort to get to know us, but not many.  And it really doesn't help that we got called to primary right after we moved in.  But overall, the people in Lehi aren't very different than those we knew in Logan.
There is one difference though.  And we think that it's why our experience has been what it has.  It is this:  Married student wards are fluid, transient, and, generally, are not the same from week to week.  Family wards are stagnant, stable, unchanging (for the most part).  The difference is that the people in our Logan ward had A LOT more practice welcoming people in.  We're talking it's the only thing they do every week.  We don't think that the people here are any less kind, generous, loving, welcoming, or caring.  They are very much all of these things.  They just don't have the practice that is the natural result of living in a ward that is literally getting several new people every week.
Ok, back to my story...
I decided to go to the activity.  After all, how can I expect to meet people if I sit at home every day?  Also, sitting at home gets very boring.  I kinda hoped my new mommy friend would be there, but I was not surprised she wasn't.  It was a toenail painting party (it had a pretty cute spiritual message with it about testimony too).  I do know a few women.. haha, the primary presidency mostly... and they were there.  But basically, I didn't have a great time.  I had Bennett so Steven could work on homework while I was gone, and he was, shall we say, less than thrilled I wasn't holding him (or putting him to bed...).  A very nice lady tried to help by holding him.  I let her, but I knew the baby was just going to scream... which he did.  Anyway, I left the activity feeling worse than when I went.  Is that how it's supposed to go?  No.
I knew that something needed to change, and that that something wasn't going to be the women in our ward (I'm pretty sure they don't really need to change).  Singing my baby to sleep, I ran out of lullabies, so I started on children's hymns (honestly, I love to sing them as lullabies... my kid's going to know them before he ever gets to primary, and that makes me happy).  I was singing I am a Child of God and in the third verse it says "if I but learn to do his will..." and I just prayed silently "what is that?"  The answer came almost before I was done thinking the question and it was that I needed to go and visit my new friend.
It took almost all day because I had to have built-up courage and a happy baby at the same time.  It happened though, and this afternoon, Bennett and I left to check the mail and visit my new friend.  I was feeling confident until I got to the bottom of her stairs and looked up and saw her door.  I had absolutely no reason to knock on her door, except that I felt like I should.  No cookies (or other baked goods).  Nothing.  But I did it.  And she let us in, and we talked for about 45 minutes.  When I got up to leave, she asked for my phone number.  And then she said something that really confirmed that I was supposed to go over there today.  "I was thinking about it yesterday, and was like, 'can I go over there?' but I wasn't sure, and I didn't have your number, so I didn't." (side note: kinda glad she didn't since I'm pretty sure a tornado went through my home, and I really need to clean up after it...)
Somehow, I need to remember my "welcoming" skills, or I guess you could call them "friend making" skills.  It is totally up to me to cure this loneliness.  I can't sit like a hermit in my apartment and expect to feel better about my social life.  That would maybe be defined as insanity.
So, today, I am ending the day in higher spirits than I have in a long time.  And maybe this place isn't so bad after all.

p.s. I know that most of you have forgotten the passing reference I made to a future post at the beginning.  But some have most surely not.  No, I'm not pregnant.  And no, it's not some other big announcement.  Just a thought in progress (and I probably should have jotted it down because at this moment, I can't remember what it was...)