Sacrifice

I LOVE my son.  Being a mom is way more than I ever thought it would be, and I believe that it can only truly be understood by someone else who has been there.  I love that I can be there for him all day, every day (a luxury not all mothers enjoy).  I love that I get to watch him grow.
I have to start with that because I am going to complain a bit now.

It is likely that my child will never know how much I went through to get him here... as I'm sure most of us are unaware of every struggle our mothers went through... but this has to be said:  I AM SICK OF MY HAIR.  Everyone tells you about how you'll get beautiful pregnancy hair.  And oh, it was gorgeous.  I even heard it would fall out (though I secretly hoped it wouldn't happen to me).  No One told me I'd get lovely baby hairs all around my hairline that would stand up and do whatever the heck they pleased.  For months.  And months.  UGH.  Are they EVER going to grow out?!  (I suppose natural logic should have told me that the hair would grow back, but hey, I'm claiming mommy brain on that one.)

Here is the part that hurts the most to think about:  I want more children.  This is going to happen again.  (and again, however many kids we decide to have...)  So just so everyone knows: my hair is going to look horrible for the next several years (because it is likely that when my hair starts looking normal, the cycle is going to start over...)  I'll affectionately call it "the 'chia-pet' years."

But I DO love this kid, I guess he's worth it ;)

Odds and Ends

I realize it's been a while since I updated the blog, so today I will attempt to do so while Steven works on homework.

First, holy mobile child.  Pros: He doesn't cry as much because I can put him down and he can follow me.  He is SO stinking cute when he crawls (and climbs) that I can't help but encourage him.  Con: He can now get into pretty much everything that is near the ground.  I still haven't really baby-proofed the apartment.

Christmas was fun.  We actually made it back home this time!  (in hind-sight, this fact is so much more exciting than I thought it was... more on that later.)  Last Christmas, there was a mondo snow storm that prevented us from traveling back up to Logan, so we stayed at my parents house that night.  No big deal since we were just us, but I prayed really hard that it wouldn't blizzard this time because I just didn't want to try and stay anywhere with Bennett.  We didn't get much in the way of gifts this year, but that's ok; we've got each other and when I think about it, that's what is most important to me.  We got a few things for Bennett, but his favorite things Christmas morning were the bows that topped his presents.  He did not care about what was under them one bit.  I think it will be fun next year when he can/will actually open his presents.

My kid says my name.  Haha, well he says momomomomomomomom..... I think it's so stinking cute!  And while I can't prove that he associates the word "mom" with me, he sometimes does look at me when he says it, which makes my mommy heart melt.

Speaking of melting, remember when I talked about Christmas and being able to go home?  Well, it turns out that our child can't handle sleeping in someone else's bed (cue total melt down).  My cousin came home from his mission this past week and spoke yesterday.  We took the opportunity to visit our friends in Logan, including staying with some friends there over night.  That was THE longest night of my life. (Including the night I was in labor, I swear!)  First, the kid hadn't had a good nap all day (driving in the car for hours can do that to you)  and he just did not want to settle down and go to sleep.  We ended up taking him for a drive to get him to sleep, but that only lasted until about 11 (the sleep, not the drive which lasted until about 9).  Then when he woke up again, I was able to put him in the crib (that belonged to another baby who was graciously letting him sleep in it) and he fell asleep for probably about 3 hours.  Steven ended up taking him for another drive at about 3 in the morning but Bennett woke up not long after they got back.  That was probably the saddest part: when I got him out of the car seat that time, he looked around and started crying again.  I think he was really hoping to be back in his own room with his own bed.  Well, then we put him back in the car seat to try another drive, but he fell asleep almost instantly and Steven ended up finishing the night on the couch with the baby in the car seat on the floor.  That night's "sleep" wasn't really good enough because as soon as we put Bennett in the car seat to leave at 10 he was out.  I just can't imagine how Christmas morning would have felt if we hadn't been able to make it home to our beds.  Because of that, I am grateful.  (I am also grateful we have friends willing to let us stay with them, though I'm not sure we'll be doing it again...)

This was the first time I got him to go to sleep... by laying next to him on the floor.  But it didn't last long, and that's when we took the first ride in the car.

Today, Steven and I have been married 2 years!  We went on a date, and my mom and sisters came to play with Bennett while we were gone.  I was a little worried because in the past Bennett has only been a basket case for my mom.  We planned on being gone for 4 or 5 hours and I really hoped he could handle it.  And he did!  He only cried for a few minutes when he left and he got upset just before we got home.  (haha, there are pictures to prove he was happy while we were gone).  I am now considering trying to leave him with people that live closer so we can go on dates more often (so they don't feel so monumental when they happen).  Which is SO awesome because before today, the last date we went on without the child was before the child was born... WAY too long ago.

I'm realizing that all these are really about Bennett.  But I guess that's what it is now: our lives revolve around him.  I can't believe he will be 8 months old in 6 days.  I feel like time is speeding by on a freight train, and all I can do is take lots of pictures and try to keep up!

Team Up With Me

Ask yourself these questions:

Are you dissatisfied with your current job? (or do you love your job, just not your income?)

Do you consider yourself money oriented, ambitious, persistent, loyal, or a hard worker?

Do you enjoy helping others?

Ok, that may sound a bit like a commercial, and I suppose it is in some way.  I am looking for people that fit in any one (or more) of these categories.  We are on the road to financial freedom, and we want to take you with us.  Join our team and learn how you can reach your goals, realize your dreams (seriously!) and help other people do the same.  I promise, it's not too good to be true!  Email me for details, because really I'd love to work with you! jennieadams922 at gmail.com

Also, if you don't think you fit, but know someone that might, send them my way!  I'd love to meet new people!

*I won't be turning my blog into a place to promote my business.  I just wanted to put this out there once, so if you follow/read for updates on my adorable child, no worries.  Mostly, I'll still just be posting about him and our lives with him.  Thanks for understanding.

A Blog Post

I really want to provide a meaningful post for y'all today...  But seriously, I'm kind of at a loss.  But here's some random stuff anyway.

My baby turned 6 months old.  Sometimes I hold him while he's sleeping and I just stare in wonder.  He has grown so much.  When he was born, he weighed 8 pounds, 2 ounces, and he was 21 inches long.  He was squishy, like a little sack of flour.  He sat there like a bump on a log.  (And I was in love with him from the moment he was placed into my arms).  Now, he weighs in at 15 lbs, 10 oz. (not quite double his birth weight) and is 27 inches long.  He has a personality, and the only time he even remotely resembles a sack of flour is when he's sleeping in my arms and I'm staring at him... which is probably why I go into such a reflective state when I stare at him.

Last week, we started "solids."  I say "solids" because it's really a puree.  I made sweet potatoes for him first, in honor of Thanksgiving.  I think the first feeding went as well as could be expected.

Guys, I've got like 100 of these... but I'll spare you and stop here.

He's still mastering the "open your mouth to let the food in" thing... which is weird, because he really gets it when it comes to nursing.  I guess eating is a skill you have to learn, and I guess I should just be glad it isn't even close to as painful as him learning to nurse was... (aka, not painful at all)

Speaking of turkey day, I made this adorable shirt for Bennett... the night before Thanksgiving.  I know, I'm totally on top of things.

I don't know why, but that bow tie on the turkey doesn't show the right color... it's purple.  Also, it's pinned on, so if I happen to ever have a girl about this size at this time of year, I can just move the bow to the head... see?  I told you I'm totally on top of things.  :)

On a not related note, Steven and I started a business of sorts (maybe "entered a business" would be more accurate).  We're still figuring it out, but if I can get my tush in gear and work, it is going to be GREAT.  I really love the products we get to use, and I'm also excited about it because it has the potential to be the only income we need, thus giving us the freedom to do the things we want to, no matter how little money that gets us.  Ahhh... the dreams for the future...

Ugh... one more thing.  I have been feeling like crap lately... mostly I'm so tired I have no desire to get out of bed (and I wouldn't except for one very adorable face... see photos above).  I thought more than once I might be pregnant, but after that proved not the case, I started thinking about why the heck I could feel so crappy.  I decided to get my thyroid checked.  I should add that when I got home from my mission, I was told that I had hypothyroidism... and that I'd most likely have to take medication for the rest of my life.  I cried.  I was only 22!  I wasn't supposed to need medication to make my body work right!  It wasn't fair!!!  Then, a year later, and after I'd come to terms with the whole thing, we got a new nephew who was born with thyroid problems.  I felt a little silly about my situation... at least I got 22 years med free...

So, then when I got pregnant, the doctor watched my levels and adjusted my medication accordingly.  I never, ever, felt adverse effects from having this thyroid disease, I just took the medication because the tests showed I was lacking in the hormone.  My last prescription from my doctor still has 3 refills which will last me 6 more months, and that was when I was planning on visiting a lab to get my levels tested again.  Enter feeling really crappy.  I called the only doctor's office I'd been to since moving to Lehi (an OB/GYN), explained my situation, and asked for a lab order.  It was granted, and when the results came back, they called me and said that my levels were so (uh, high? low? I can never remember...) that the doctor wasn't comfortable touching it... basically they were like "uh, you better go see someone who actually knows what they're doing here" and gave me a referral.  Mystery solved!  Well, sort of... at least I know what's robbing my family of the dinners that I've planned out (if you thought I have felt like making dinner, you would be wrong).  And what's making it impossible for me to want to get anything done.  I haven't seen the doctor yet, so I still feel like I want to sleep all the time... but at least I know why.

That may have been a TMI for some... sorry about that if it was.  I'm just really excited to feel better because taking care of a baby when you don't feel well is super fun. 

Tags

My son is fascinated with tags.  He chews tags on everything and will tip himself over trying to grab a tag that's just beyond his reach.  I think lots of babies are like this, which is why someone invented those cute tag blankets that you can buy.  But seriously... I am not in a position to pay even $10 for a little blanket that has cute tags all around it.
What's a mom to do???  Well, my first thought was that I could make one.  (Actually, my first thought when I want or need just about anything is "I could make that")  I'd just have to go to a quilt shop and buy a bunch of "by the yard" ribbon, a little minkey, and be on my merry way.  Then I remembered that I really don't have any extra money right now (payday is so close...) and when I get a project in my head... well I kind of obsess over it until it's done (unless that project's name is 'quilt for my bed,' then I might drag my feet a little... but I have the fabric, so one day, it will be done...It's just so BIG).  In other words, I really wanted to do this NOW... he's obsessed with tags NOW... why can't we have some extra cash NOW?!
So, as I was trying to get my stinker to sleep tonight, I formulated a plan.  This project was taking over my mind, and I have other things to do, so I needed to get it done so I could think about other things.  (Like what I need to do for my new job to actually make money...)
I won't bore you with my whole thought process, but I'll show you some photos of the process... eventually.
First, I stole tags from various items of clothing.  Most of it was in my sewing bin, and the items are waiting for me to get creative with them, a couple of the tags came from t-shirts I had in my drawer (who reads tags anyway? I could have stole from every shirt in Steven's closet and he wouldn't have noticed... but I didn't need that many tags, and I digress...).
Then, I located a piece of fleece.  It was originally purchased (from the remnant bin) to make the inside of a knitted hat warm and soft (the yarn I used wasn't very soft or thick).  I used some more of it a few weeks ago for Steven's Lost Boy costume.  What I had left was the perfect size for what I wanted to do.
I had a little trouble figuring out what to pair with the blue fleece, but when I was cutting tags, I spotted a polo shirt that we bought at DI for Steven, but it ended up being too... tight? short?.. something... and it was in my "do something creative with me" pile.  It was perfect.  Light blue, with stripes.  And soft.
I also gathered some other fun-textured things: gold ric rac from last Christmas (stockings), elastic, ribbon... I wanted some variety.
Then I cut the 2 fabrics to the same size and got to pinning.  I'll let the pictures tell the rest:

 

This was a BEAST to sew... given a do-over, I would find a different way to do it that didn't include sewing over the button (placket?)

Haha, I left the pocket functional :) I think I'm very clever...

All done!

I decided to help hold the two pieces together in the middle, I'd add some fun buttons.  Don't worry, the anxiety mom in me came out and said I should probably be really careful about this and I sewed them on there GOOD.  And I'll probably let paranoid mom check the integrity of the button sewing job frequently, to make sure they aren't going to pop off and try to go down the baby's throat.

Guys, I was so excited when I was done, I almost wanted to go and wake up my sleeping son to see him play with it.  But, cried himself to sleep tonight... that's how hard it was to get him to sleep (I can almost never let him do that, it's just too sad for me... except when I've tried everything else).  Plus, waking a sleeping baby (that's not in danger) is, like, 100 kinds of stupid, I'm pretty sure.  So, tomorrow will be like Christmas... I'm just not sure for who. ;)

Halloween

Bragging time.  I'm not gonna lie, that's all this post is going to be.

So, rewind to... well kind of to last October, when I knew I was pregnant and almost wanted to announce earlier than planned just to have a super cute Halloween costume.  Instead, last year was kind of a flop.  Guess that's what happens when you think about costumes, like, the day of Halloween.  I was ashamed to call myself a lover of the holiday last year, but I digress... I began thinking immediately of cute family costumes we could do for this year.  Yeah, I plan that far ahead (you're talking to a girl who bought a temple dress with an empire waist and extra room in front to accommodate a large pregnant belly... and I wasn't even dating anyone! p.s. that dress TOTALLY worked up until the last time we went to the temple about a week before he was born... it was a smidge tight that time).  I had SO MANY ideas.  We didn't know if we were getting a boy or a girl, so I had several for either situation.

Then, I guess we need to fast forward to... uh, July?  I started seriously thinking about Halloween again.  I had narrowed my list of possibilities to something like 4 ideas.  I presented them to Steven, and we decided that the most fun would be the Football, Football Player, and Cheerleader.  I was kind of leaning toward that one because when I was in Jr. High, I kinda really wanted to be able to be a cheerleader.  But I lacked both skill and money (cheer is not a cheap sport... is there a cheap sport?)  Plus, turning my baby into a football was going to be SUPER easy.

I had the skirt down, All I had to do was make a box pleated skirt with blue on the outside and white on the inside (thank you internet for teaching me how to do this).  I finished it, and I was pretty much in love.  The top wasn't too difficult either, but it was a little intimidating until I figured out just how I wanted it.  AND until I found the perfect sparkly tank to use as the bottom.  I think I grinned to myself like a fool the whole way home from the store that day.  *There was a slight tragedy.  My "A" started peeling off after the first time I fed Bennett with the costume on, so I tried to use my mom's iron to stick it back on, and it melted the shirt a little.  I seriously wanted to cry, but I had already done my makeup and there was no way I wanted that much mascara running down my face.  It's not really noticeable, but the worst part is that I had several promptings to sew the thing on rather than just rely on the spray adhesive, but I brushed them off... lesson learned, I hope.*

 I sewed the "laces" onto the onesie that I had dyed brown (before I even had the baby? like back in April, I think... and I think I did it to make this, but just for going to football games... which ended up not happening this year)  Added a white long sleeve onesie underneath, and whipped up some of those cute baby leggings.  Done.

Enter football jersey.  We thought, "hey, let's just for fun check locker 42's website and see how much a replica jersey would be."  Enter choking sounds, and sudden turning of wheels in my head trying to figure out how not to spend $90 on my husbands Halloween costume.  I honestly don't know how many times I thought I had bitten off more than I could chew with this one, but it turned out fabulous!  I am SO proud of myself.  I bought 2 $9 shirts from Walmart for the fabric (a search at Joann's was fruitless, I tell you), and some $10 spray adhesive.  Made up *rough* a pattern by cutting up an old t-shirt into the shapes I needed... and voila! $30 Halloween costume.  *Bonus: The jersey at Locker 42 just said "16" on the back... Steven's says "Stoddard" and "1" on the back.  Much cooler. (If you're dying to know what it looks like, you can see here)

I ended up making my pom poms out of a white plastic tablecloth and some totally awesome ribbon.  Total: <$2.

Ok, so all of this was very awesome.  I was super excited for it.  But then, I found out that our ward might be actually some other religion that doesn't celebrate Halloween because there was NO ward party.  Not even a trunk or treat.  Boo.  (not like a ghost says, like what you say to a stupid ref...)  I was NOT going to waste all my hard work on nothing to do for Halloween.  Enter my wonderful mother who happened to mention her ward party.  YAY!  Somewhere to go and show off the costumes.  It only meant I had to have them done by the 26th instead of the 31st, but remember how I started in July?  Yeah, not even a problem.  We had fun, the only hitch: a very tired baby and we had to leave earlier than I wanted to.  PLUS on the actual holiday, we got to go trick or treating at Steven's {very awesome} work.  It was warm, and we escaped with way more candy than we should have.  I love candy.

It's hard to get a baby to look at a camera that isn't doing anything remotely interesting... and is 15 feet away from him... we may need to get a photographer for this kind of shot...

A week or so before Halloween, Steven dropped a bomb.  "There's a 'by team' costume contest at work."  Me: slowly "ok."  Him: "Our team's theme is Neverland."  Me: *breathes deeply* "ok"  Him: "I have to be a lost boy."  Me: -_-

How much stinking time did I just spend on this very awesome football jersey?!  Ugh.  But he assured me that we could still go as our family thing at the trick or treating (we did, *happy face*).  I didn't really think anything else of it, since I was focusing on the costumes I'd been planning for months.  Enter October 30th, 8 pm.  I find my cute husband in the closet trying to figure out what to wear to be a lost boy.  I decided to help him out.  We came up with something pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.  And his coworkers thought it was awesome, so... basically, it's awesome.

My Lost Boy

Who would have thought it would be my husband that needed 2 costumes?  Usually it's a kid.  And usually, it's a want, not a need...

Anyway, you can bet the wheels are already turning for next year.  I've got some ideas, but I have no clue what we'll end up with.  *Sigh* maybe I'm a little obsessed.


****Side note from Steven****
I just have to say that Jennie is amazing and I don't know how I would do anything without her to help me. The lost boy costume turned out great, and the thing she did not mention was that we WON the group contest at work. I figure you would all like to see the picture as just me you can't tell how awesome we were.

New Friends!

I originally opened this new post to start a post that I will be publishing sometime in the future... but then I remembered that I wanted to write about my new friend that I made today!
First, I have a few confessions:
I am SO lonely.  I absolutely adore my husband and my son, but I feel extremely isolated.  I couldn't figure out why.  I still don't really know, but I'm getting an idea...
Maybe I like feeling lonely?  I don't know, but I have fed into that feeling, and just end up whining about it like all the time. 

So, last Sunday, at our 1 pm meeting (I am super excited for January, because anything is better than 1 pm... except for 1:30 pm... but our building doesn't have a ward at 1:30)  Anyway, I digress...
Bennett was getting very tired, like babies do after being awake for more than 2 hours.  So, like a good member, I stuck out sacrament meeting until I got the sacrament, but then I left to walk the halls with my little cutie.  (Side note: Steven always offers, but since we teach primary and I can't leave the class with him, he gets to take the baby during the lesson, therefore, I get him before...)  My plan was to get my kid to sleep.  I could see it in his adorable little face that he was so tired.  Possibly overtired (which is not cool).  He had other ideas though, and any time I tried to sit and rock him, he just squirmed and grunted.  So, walk I did.  I happened upon a cute little guy in one of the foyers.  He looked bigger than Bennett, and I knew immediately that he was older because he was army crawling towards me.  I did the natural thing to do when a baby is looking at you: I talked to him.  His mom appeared (really not that long after he did, he was being watched, I promise).  And we started to chat.  She told me that my baby was cute (mommy-pride moment... I know my kid is cute, and I just love it when other people tell me he is.  It boosts my confidence that I make cute babies, haha).  It didn't take long to figure out that we lived in the same apartment complex, and that she has lived in the ward less time than we have.
Long story short: Bennett didn't get to sleep, but I found out where my new friend lived.  (Baby slept later, during sharing time...)
Fast forward to Wednesday night.  Relief Society Activity.  yay.  I used to love going to those things.  I've gone to every one that they've had since we moved in, but I just don't feel like I fit in.
Now, here, I have to stop and tell you about a conversation I had with Steven a few days ago.  We were discussing possible reasons why church was so different here.  And this was the conclusion we came to:  When we moved into the married student ward, we were welcomed warmly.  We had instant friends (besides the ones we already knew).  It was like we were adopted into this huge, fun family that loved us without knowing us and they got us.  I have to stress that our welcome to Lehi was not cold by any means.  Our first Sunday, we arrived pretty early and every member of the bishopric introduced themselves to us and chatted with us for several minutes.  At that point, I was feeling pretty good about the new ward.  But it kind of stopped there.  A few more people have made an effort to get to know us, but not many.  And it really doesn't help that we got called to primary right after we moved in.  But overall, the people in Lehi aren't very different than those we knew in Logan.
There is one difference though.  And we think that it's why our experience has been what it has.  It is this:  Married student wards are fluid, transient, and, generally, are not the same from week to week.  Family wards are stagnant, stable, unchanging (for the most part).  The difference is that the people in our Logan ward had A LOT more practice welcoming people in.  We're talking it's the only thing they do every week.  We don't think that the people here are any less kind, generous, loving, welcoming, or caring.  They are very much all of these things.  They just don't have the practice that is the natural result of living in a ward that is literally getting several new people every week.
Ok, back to my story...
I decided to go to the activity.  After all, how can I expect to meet people if I sit at home every day?  Also, sitting at home gets very boring.  I kinda hoped my new mommy friend would be there, but I was not surprised she wasn't.  It was a toenail painting party (it had a pretty cute spiritual message with it about testimony too).  I do know a few women.. haha, the primary presidency mostly... and they were there.  But basically, I didn't have a great time.  I had Bennett so Steven could work on homework while I was gone, and he was, shall we say, less than thrilled I wasn't holding him (or putting him to bed...).  A very nice lady tried to help by holding him.  I let her, but I knew the baby was just going to scream... which he did.  Anyway, I left the activity feeling worse than when I went.  Is that how it's supposed to go?  No.
I knew that something needed to change, and that that something wasn't going to be the women in our ward (I'm pretty sure they don't really need to change).  Singing my baby to sleep, I ran out of lullabies, so I started on children's hymns (honestly, I love to sing them as lullabies... my kid's going to know them before he ever gets to primary, and that makes me happy).  I was singing I am a Child of God and in the third verse it says "if I but learn to do his will..." and I just prayed silently "what is that?"  The answer came almost before I was done thinking the question and it was that I needed to go and visit my new friend.
It took almost all day because I had to have built-up courage and a happy baby at the same time.  It happened though, and this afternoon, Bennett and I left to check the mail and visit my new friend.  I was feeling confident until I got to the bottom of her stairs and looked up and saw her door.  I had absolutely no reason to knock on her door, except that I felt like I should.  No cookies (or other baked goods).  Nothing.  But I did it.  And she let us in, and we talked for about 45 minutes.  When I got up to leave, she asked for my phone number.  And then she said something that really confirmed that I was supposed to go over there today.  "I was thinking about it yesterday, and was like, 'can I go over there?' but I wasn't sure, and I didn't have your number, so I didn't." (side note: kinda glad she didn't since I'm pretty sure a tornado went through my home, and I really need to clean up after it...)
Somehow, I need to remember my "welcoming" skills, or I guess you could call them "friend making" skills.  It is totally up to me to cure this loneliness.  I can't sit like a hermit in my apartment and expect to feel better about my social life.  That would maybe be defined as insanity.
So, today, I am ending the day in higher spirits than I have in a long time.  And maybe this place isn't so bad after all.

p.s. I know that most of you have forgotten the passing reference I made to a future post at the beginning.  But some have most surely not.  No, I'm not pregnant.  And no, it's not some other big announcement.  Just a thought in progress (and I probably should have jotted it down because at this moment, I can't remember what it was...)